September 2011
August 2011
It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to let it out. You don’t have to hold it in if it hurts that much. But just remember that there will be people there for you.
Thank you. That means a lot. Unfortunately, there really isn’t anyone.
Huge wave of depression has hit me.
I feel like I’m going nowhere.
I feel stuck
I feel jealous
I feel hurt
I feel tired
I feel ugly
I feel heavy
Most of all, I feel extremely gloomy.
And it’s so easy to hide it on the outside. I’m just so fucking good at it. But really, I just want to sleep. I want to be alone for a long time. I’m tired of feeling something. I want to cry. I miss my cat and my room where I was able to spend hours alone without being bothered. I don’t want to meet another living soul anymore.
[30082011 Strong Heart] Kyuhyun's beginning~!
- Kyuhyun: The truth is, I spent only 2 to 3 months as a trainee. When I first entered the company, they gave me a CD to practice my singing and dancing;
- Kyuhyun: One day they told me to follow them, I did and asked where were they taking me? They said I was now a member of Super Junior; I was struck dumb and said "Super Junior? Me?" It was really unbelievable at that time, Super Junior had debuted for 6 months, they were still newbies compared to the world superstars now on Strong Heart, and they already had 12 members, if I joined them it would make the total 13 members, which would definitely cause the members to hate me;
- Kyuhyun: When I first met Leeteuk-ssi, I bowed (not 90°) and said "annyeonghasaeyo……", he replied "Greetings should not be done like yours." I hurriedly bow 90° to him;
- Kyuhyun: At that time all the members stayed in a large dorm, all of them had beds except me; When I entered the dorm I asked where my room was, i got a reply "Just pick a place to sleep", since then I slept in each and every members' room for a month, I slept in Yesung's room, Ryeowook's room, even Sungmin's room; I endured this kind of life for 9 months.
- Kyuhyun: One day Leeteuk-ssi said "Maknae, go and cook me some noodles." I said "Yes" and went about it, but it was hard to gauge the amount of water needed for cooking noodles for 10 people, and the noodles turned out soggy; Leeteuk-ssi took a bite, threw down his chopsticks and asked "Who cooked this noodles~!"; I could understand what he was feeling at that time, the feelings of 12 members becoming 13;
- Ryeowook: At that time, Kyuhyun-ssi hid his drinking from the other members, he came to my room and laid on my bed saying "Ryeowook-ah, I'm so tired……" He started crying, like how they did in the movies, so I told him "Who is it? I think I can sympathize with your situation, is it that person?" He replied "It's Teuk hyung……"
- Kyuhyun: When we started with "Twins" & "Miracle" we didn't clinch any No 1, but we finally got FIRST when we were promoting "U"~! The members were so touched and couldn't stop crying; I was very happy too, it was my first win as a singer and I wanted to cry badly but the thought of "Who am I to cry with them?" stopped me, I assume that the other members would be thinking this too, so I forced myself not to cry;
- Kyuhyun: I kept my tears in all the way back to our waiting room, I kept thinking "What have I done to deserve to cry with them" to force myself to not cry, at this moment Leeteuk-ssi and my eyes met, he came over and gave me a hug, he said "Kyuhyun-ah, you've done well."; My emotions ran ran free and I replied "Ne, Teukie hyung." I hugged him tightly, and this was the moment where I really felt I was a member of Super Junior.
- Via: 凝幻 の weibo~！❤
